Feeling Pressured on Valentine’s Day


Another Valentine’s Day, and another article shedding some light onto those who are in relationships, as well as to those who are single. I’ve thought a lot about this holiday, and I’m well aware that it’s not a Jewish holiday, and I am Jewish. And it’s also a holiday that, correct me if I’m wrong, but Hallmark created to, um, let’s not say “make money,” but let’s give them the benefit of the doubt and assume the reason was to spread love and joy for yet another day, and another occasion, so that many people will know just how much they are loved and appreciated.

With Valentine’s Day being merely a couple of days away, around every corner, and around every turn, there’s another person selling big bundled up packages filled with hearts, teddy bears, chocolates, and yes, even flowers and balloons. Everyone likes to get gifts, and to recieve sweet things, and especially from those who we love, desiring to know that they care for us. But many people not only forget, but they don’t really understand what these types of holidays are really all about. Sure, gifts are great, and yes, cards and poems too. But what we all really want the most, is to know that we are loved and appreciated.

I’ve heard a numerous amount of people say that they couldn’t care less about this holiday or even prefer to avoid this day at all costs. Many people feel that this holiday is just another way to make singles feel like shit, and to make couples feel pressure to express their love through actions and loving, but “forced” gestures. I can’t say that I can necessarily blame anyone who feels that way. I mean, think about it! The pressure seems to be on, and especially with all of those freaking teddybear hearts and flowers packages on every corner. Having said all of this, I want to spread some light and express my thoughts on this loving yet pressuring holiday.

Love and appreciation are things that are either there or not. When we love someone, we should express that love through our words and our actions. There should be a healthy balance of the two. And when holidays like Valentine’s Day come around, we don’t need to necessarily feel pressured to do things that are expected, assumed, or desired. However, it’s always nice to show our love and appreciation for those who we care for, and especially when we care for them on a deeper level.

Like I said before, everyone likes receiving gifts, feeling special, and to know that they’re loved and appreciated. However, gift buying, going to expensive restaurants with pre-planned menus, and all of the hearts and flowers in the world aren’t any bit better than merely letting those who you love know just how much you care. Doing sweet gestures are things that can and should be done often, and not merely on holidays or special occasions. And although “it’s nice to have” someone do sweet things for you on these types of occasions, they’re not mandatory, essential, or required “must-haves” for a healthy and happy relationship. Having said that, it’s always nice to find ways to keep the fire alive in a relationship, and it’s always nice to know that people who care for you desire to go out of their way for you to express their love.

Valentine’s Day is a day that is loved and believe it or not, hated by many. It’s one day that some people feel forced and pressured to express their love, and when they don’t do anything special for their loved ones, many times they get treated poorly for it, put in the “dog house,” and treated as if they had done something wrong, or simply don’t care or appreciate their loved one enough. Valentine’s Day is not a day to be resentful or bitter folks. It’s a day to remember, to appreciate, and to express our love to those we care for. There’s no dollar amount that it takes to express or love to those who we care for. Effort doesn’t cost anything.

So whether you’re financially strained and desire to do sweet gestures for someone special who you have in your life, whether you’re single and feel alone and resentful of those who have someone, or whether you love or even hate this supposed Hallmark holiday, spread love, give love, appreciate what you have, be selfless, and don’t go out of your way to do anything when it’s not in your heart. It’s always better to do sweet gestures in life, when it’s because you want to, and not because you feel pressured or fear of being “in the dog house.”

If you’re in relationship or married to someone who makes you feel like crap because you don’t do anything sweet for them on Valentine’s Day, they’re wrong for treating you like that. But you should also take their feelings into consideration and at the very least, express your love and appreciation for them. This is something that you should do regardless of the freaking holiday! And whether we like it or not, we’re in a society where people all do everything in their power to make money,so they sell this and that around every corner, with hopes to attract last minute shoppers for those people who forget or need last minute gifts to express love and appreciation. So what! There’s a little pressure in today’s world, but when we love someone and want them to feel good, there are many ways in which we can express our love. At the end of the day, pressure or no pressure, we should always do what’s in our hearts, and because we want to, but also because we want to see our loved ones happy.

When someone is authentic and genuinely loves you for all of the right reasons, and when they know, and I mean truly know what matters the most, they not only won’t pressure you or make you feel bad for not going out of your way for them or Heaven’s forbid, not getting them a Valentine, but they will be loving, warm, appreciative, and kind to you regardless. Someone who loves you won’t give a damn if you don’t buy them nice things or wine and dine them on this occasion, because they will know that you care regardless. And especially when or if money is an issue. Well, that is, if you’re a good partner who still expresses your love through other actions and of course, words as well.

We should always do sweet things for our loved ones. But remember, Valentine’s Day isn’t a day that you should feel pressured or forced to do anything. You should do sweet things to show people how much you care because you feel it in your heart to do so. So rid yourself of the unnecessary pressure, let go of the suspected or assumed expectations of what this day is supposed to bring, and show your loved ones how much you care because of two reasons, and two reasons alone—because you feel it in your heart and because you want to see them smile.

If you’re single on this romantic gesture filled day, be loving to those around you and be grateful for what you do have in life. Stay optimistic, and don’t fall into that negative pattern of thinking where other’s joy, romance, and hearts and flowers becomes a day of nuisance. Smile in the joy of others, and know that you’re not the only single person on Valentine’s Day. Single on Valentine’s Day? So what! Stay home and watch an old movie! Who knows, maybe you won’t be single next year. Just stay positive, and try to see the good in things. And if you have the option of spending time with other singles, family, or even friends, do so, if you think it will make you feel good, and try to show them your love and appreciation. But don’t wallow in a negative state of bitterness or even depression because you haven’t yet found your soulmate. You will eventually. Keep your chin up, and here’s hearts and flowers for you.

Anne Cohen
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2 thoughts on “Feeling Pressured on Valentine’s Day

  1. I could not agree more. Valentine’s Day seems to become a bigger and bigger deal every year…and for what? We should be taking more time to appreciate and show our love toward one another every day, not just when there’s an overhyped holiday.

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