Healthy and happy relationships involve two people who are both willing to put in the hard work, effort, and love that it takes to make a relationship happy and strong. If one person is putting in all the love and hard work, while the other person is wishy-washy, back-and-forth, and not only doesn’t put effort into things, but isn’t quite sure whether they want to be fully committed to you or not, the relationship won’t work.
No one should settle for being with someone who isn’t willing to do their share in their relationship. One-sided relationships don’t work, and if someone isn’t willing to commit to you fully and wholeheartedly, then you should end things ASAP. Don’t waste your time desiring to be with someone who doesn’t know what they want or simply can’t make up their mind. This especially goes for after someone gets to know you on a deeper level, and still can’t figure out what they want.
It’s essential to know what you want or at least have some idea of what you’re looking for in another person. When someone doesn’t even know whether they want to be with you or not, they’re wasting your time, and you’re wasting your own by staying with them. At the end of the day, you’ll have no one to blame but yourself by staying in a halfway love affair. Be with someone who knows that they want you, and especially once they’ve had a chance to get to know you.
When someone sees who you are at your core, and they’ve gotten a chance to know you on a deeper level, yet they’re still back-and-forth and unable to commit to an exclusive relationship, stop developing feelings for them, cut your losses short, and move on. It doesn’t matter how much you might love another person, because when they don’t show you how much they love you back in return, you’ll be at a standstill, and you’ll wind up getting hurt. Love yourself enough not to accept a relationship with someone who isn’t 100% certain that they want to be with you.
If someone is choosing to keep their options open and date you after they’ve already had a chance to get to know you, then they obviously don’t appreciate you enough, they don’t know what they want, or they simply aren’t capable of monogamy. No one deserves to be treated as if they’re second-best, someone’s second choice, or merely an option. Be good to yourself by walking away when you see that someone either isn’t ready, isn’t emotionally available, or isn’t sure about whether or not they can commit to you and give you what you want.
When you let yourself be treated a certain way, or when you don’t know your worth, you’ll likely put up with someone who’s wishy-washy and can’t make up their mind. Why do that to yourself! You deserve to be with a partner in life who will love and adore you, and who will know just how amazing and one of a kind you are. Don’t settle for someone who doesn’t deserve you. Some things aren’t grey, and they’re completely black and white—this is one of them. If you want monogamy, and your partner can’t handle that, it’s time to let go.
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More from Anne Cohen Writes
When Someone’s in and out, Back and Forth, and Can’t Make up Their Mind About You
Break up, Make up, and Repeat
When You Fall in Love With Two People at the Same Time
The Hot and Cold Relationship Experience
When Prince Charming Stands You Up
What Are the Differences Between Polyamory and Open Relationships?
