When You Should Stop Giving Your Light and Love


I always talk about how it’s important to be a good person, to strive to live a balanced life, and to acquire an enlightened state of mind. I’ve even written how trust, honesty, and giving your loved ones the benefit of the doubt is so imperative when having the hopes of developing a healthy relationship. Yes it’s true, I’ve gone on and on about how you should be a whole person, love yourself first, and a great deal of everything else in how self-improvement and being self-aware are so important.

Now that I’ve said that, I stumbled on a thought that I felt I needed to share with those out there that are all of these things, or at least strive to be, and are in a place in life where they try to be the best versions of themselves that they can be. There’s a type of person that’s giving, loving, and enlightened. There are many stages to being an enlightened individual. There’s never really an end to an enlightened state of mind. Having said that, it’s important to recognize that not everyone deserves your love and light.

Not everyone deserves all of the beauty that’s within you, and no, not even your gentle and kind words of wisdom or advice. As much as I believe it’s good to be a loving and selfless person, I also believe that you need to protect yourself, be cautious, and be loving to only those that will appreciate your love. I don’t believe in letting other people take advantage of you and simply being a source of light and wisdom to that type, and especially when they’re cruel, insensitive, or selfish beings.

Hey, I’m no prophet, and I’ve never claimed to be the most enlightened individual. However, I try to be the best version of myself that I can be in all of the above positive ways. When I see weakness in certain aspects of my being, I strive to work on those things and perfect them to the best of my will. Having said that, when I see that someone takes advantage of me in any way, I close the door, I don’t give second chances, and I don’t let them have the power to hurt me in any way again.

We should all strive to become beings that are selfless, loving, and willing to give love and light to everyone, and without an ulterior motive of any kind. However, when you see that someone has a track record, or that they’ve done things to hurt you in the past, you can still be kind, respectful, and cordial to that person. But, you shouldn’t give them your light and love, because they don’t deserve it.

I’m going to say this again. You don’t owe anything to the world. You owe nothing to another individual. However, you owe it to yourself to put you first when others take advantage of your love and light. You don’t need to be selfless towards selfish beings. You don’t need to set an example or to shed light onto those who have their eyes closed. It’s not your obligation, nor should you feel obligated to shed light onto people who will use and abuse you in any way.

People who have issues in which they’re selfish, or act toxic in certain ways need to work on themselves, and you’re not supposed to be the one to fix them or their issues. There’s nothing wrong with trying to shed light and love onto someone that’s in a place that’s lower or less enlightened. But when you try, and see that the type of person that you’re dealing with seems to be closed, empty, or doesn’t absorb your light, you need to stop giving it. When your light, love, and wisdom doesn’t seem to be getting through to them, it’s important to close the door to being open to giving that kind of goodness to that particular person.

We are all human beings and should strive to be good and kind to others, wanting nothing in return. But remember, you nor I, nor anyone else deserves to be taken for granted, taken advantage of, or to be treated poorly and insensitively by anyone. If you’re letting people hurt you, then you need to put an end to those toxic relationships, and recognize that you are the biggest problem to your issue. No one is forcing you to stay in toxic situations, so you need to end them, and close the door.

You need to recognize that when someone doesn’t have your best interest at heart, you need to protect yourself. You should never have to create a wall or a barrier of protection on an emotional level. At least, not when you’re with a healthy individual or in a healthy situation. When you see that someone isn’t a healthy individual, you need to not only remove them from your life, but even more importantly (being that sometimes letting people go is so difficult when you’re a loving person), you need to stop giving that person your love and light.

Give your love and light only to those that deserve it. This doesn’t mean that you should be cruel to those people that might be viewed as toxic, hateful, selfish, or insensitive. But it does mean that you should be extra cautious, and not give them your whole heart, the benefit of the doubt, or let your light and love be stomped on as if you don’t value yourself as a person.

There are times in life when we shouldn’t be as selfless as I promote. One of those times is when you come across the path of someone that will use you or take you for granted. Those times are when you should love yourself more than others. Those are the times when you should put yourself first, and how you feel should matter more to you than how the selfish person feels. At least, this is how you need to train yourself to think and believe.

Anne Cohen
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