Baggage. We all say that we don’t want baggage from someone who we’re thinking of dating. However, what might be baggage to one person, might not necessarily be considered baggage to another. In other words, we all see things in different ways and feel quite differently when it comes to what we’re looking for in a match, what we’re O.K. with, what we’re not O.K. with, and even what we all consider to be red flags or “baggage.”
It’s important to know what you want in a match, as well as to have some idea of what works for you and what doesn’t in a relationship. You should also have a pretty good idea of what your intentions are with someone. Having said that, many times people say that drama is a big no-no when dating them, and at the first sign of it, they tend to leave and many times, very quickly. In this article, I’m going to address my thoughts on drama and when you should avoid it.
Some people have issues. Scratch that. We all have issues, some bigger than others, and some of our issues some people will be O.K. with, whereas some people won’t be. It really depends on the person and I suppose the particular drama. If someone has drama in their life all of the time, with their friends, their family, their job, their relationship, and in their daily interactions with people, it’s probably them and their issues, rather than all of the other people who they might be complaining about. Sometimes, ehem, usually, it’s best to look within and work on ourselves.
Toxic people should be avoided. If you have family, friends, or even acquaintances for that matter who swim in a life full of drama, tiptoe the heck outta there, save yourself, and without looking back. You don’t have to be someone’s saviour, fix anyone’s issues, or even to listen to anyone’s drama and negativity. Believe it or not, it doesn’t really matter how resilient you or anyone might be, being around negativity and drama will rub off on you and somehow have a negative impact on your day or maybe even on your life.
They say that you are who your friends are. And in some ways, they are right. It’s good to surround yourself with like-minded individuals and with those who think like you. Well, at least to a certain extent. And when I say like-minded individuals, I’m referring to people who have similar interests, similar ways of thinking, feeling, reacting, and communicating. As well, it’s important to surround yourself with those who have similar morals and values as you, and who share a similar lifestyle.
People who you surround yourself with don’t have to be exactly like you, but in ways that are truly important and valuable, it can really make a difference in your life for the better or for the worse, depending on the type of people and to be honest, a lot of it has to do with the type of energy you bring in close. Don’t bring people into your life who are constantly complaining about their life, who are lazy, miserable, never happy, never satisfied, or who blame others for their mistakes or even for issues that you know damn well are theirs to fix or at least improve on. Choose your friends wisely, and decide what type of people you should get close to and what type of people you should distance yourself from.
Love yourself enough to recognize a toxic situation or even a toxic relationship, and end it. You deserve to be happy. Therefore, you should make a conscious and definitive decision to stop listening to the drama of people around you who are unhappy with their lives and lack the will, the light, or even the common sense to acknowledge that they have issues. Date and surround yourself with people who bring out the best in you, who lift you up, motivate and inspire you, and who bring light and love your way.
Be with the type of people who you look forward to being around, who bring smiles to your face, laughter in your soul, and who recognize their imperfections, their issues, and what they need to work on as individuals. Date and surround yourself with those who have pure intentions, no ulterior motives, and who truly have your best interest at heart. We all deserve to be with and around the types of people who are selfless, loving, and understanding, and who truly care about how they affect you and others around them.
Energy says a lot when you speak with someone. And in the same manner that people say that eyes never lie, the same goes for energy. We need to be close to people who have good energy. However, this doesn’t mean that we should avoid drama at all costs. This merely means that if someone is always surrounded by drama in their life, save yourself. You’re not a saviour or should you act as one, even if you’re an empath or have a very big heart. It’s a trap folks! They’ll suck you in like leeches! Love yourself enough to say no to people who thrive in drama. And learn to recognize the difference between what might be drama and what might be a mere issue that someone might already be aware of, or are in the process of improving.
Last but not least, I must emphasize one major point on this subject matter. Avoiding drama is a big no-no. Never avoid drama or issues in your relationships. Nip things in the bud when you start to see that there’s a concern or an issue. And never, and I mean never implode your feelings or any concerns that you have with someone. There’s always a time and a place to discuss things and work things out, but make sure that you do so, rather than let things build up and become overwhelming or unmanageable later.
When we become in touch with our emotions enough, feeling things deeply as an empath or as someone who truly loves and cares about others, at that moment, we’ll start to become more spiritually connected and enlightened, where we put others before ourselves, but without becoming someone’s dumping site to relieve their anxiety while you take it all on. When it comes to dating and building new relationships, as well as new friendships, make sure that you look for the early warning signs, the red flags, and what would likely be considered baggage by most of the world, too much drama and too early on.
Remember, you’re not being selfish, insensitive, cold, or cruel because you want inner peace, alone time, space, or even your sanity. We all deserve to be in a relationship with someone who thrives with peace and calm, rather than someone who for whatever reason attracts drama and negativity. You need to protect yourself and be around the type of person who wants you to be whole, complete, happy, at peace, and at the end of the day, the best version of yourself. You’re normal and I must say, quite intelligent if you know better than to surround yourself with individuals who let drama cling onto them like a toddler who doesn’t get their way. Love yourself enough to let go of those who take you on a reckless and unwanted detour or any kind of tour of their drama. No one needs extra turbulence or negativity in their lives.
Don’t be this person…
You deserve more than to wither away stressing over someone else’s stress or to be nervous and anxious or feel anything other than happy, and simply because someone decided to vent out their problems onto you. Thanks but no thanks.
Be this person instead…Â
Good night and sweet dreams. Go to sleep on a happy note, feel good, at ease, at peace, and be happy. We all have our own issues, concerns, and problems. And although it’s nice to know that someone cares and that they’re there for you at times, make sure you don’t take advantage of others and that you don’t let others take advantage of your loving and caring heart. Make sure that you surround yourself with people who will love and value you enough to deal with their own baggage and issues, and not vent their daily stress and issues onto you, and definitely not on a regular basis. Remember, be that person, that partner, that friend. Be that one special someone who inspires and motivates others to do good and feel good, rather than the type of person to kill someone’s motivation and make them feel worse.
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Great article Anne! I couldn’t agree more. So many people dump their problems on others and it can ruin someone’s day if they’re not careful. No one should give someone that much control over their mood. Love your writing and all of the topics you write about!