Expecting Perfection in a Relationship



There’s no such thing as perfection in a person or in a relationship. No one is perfect in this world. Not me, not you, not your boyfriend, your girlfriend, your spouse, or even that couple that you might view as “the perfect couple.” Not one damn person or couple in this world is perfect. Now, knowing that no one is perfect in this world, it seems strange to me that people would imagine that anyone’s relationship would be complete perfection. I mean sure, we have good times and bad times, but everything in life is just a bunch of moments. One moment we’re happy, the next moment we’re sad and feeling down, the next minute we’re angry, and we have different emotions all of the time. So, there’s no way that anyone can feel happy or feel as if their life and their relationship is perfect all of the time.


If you’d ask me, I personally think that anything that’s too perfect is no longer perfect. I love imperfections and things that stand out. And at times, I even like different things that might seem awkward or unusual to the next person. But to each their own, because everyone is different and everyone likes different things. Having said that, when someone desires to have a perfect relationship, it’s literally impossible, because perfection doesn’t exist. It’s one thing to work hard on your relationship, to be the best version of yourself, and to do anything and everything in your power to make things work for you as a couple. But the truth is, you can only do so much to make a relationship work. Sometimes you’re just not the right match for one another. Sometimes you have too many differences or too many issues that simply can’t be resolved.

We shouldn’t have to settle for being with the wrong person because it’s easy or convenient. You should be willing to wait for the right person to come around, and that person should make you feel happy and more alive than ever. But when you’re in a situation where you are happy, but you’re so hard on yourself and your partner, because you imagine that everything should be perfect all of the time, you’re setting yourself up for an unhappy relationship, and ultimately, failure. You are looking for perfection – that doesn’t exist.

It’s important not to have unreasonably high and unrealistic expectations for anything in life. This includes everything from who you are, to what you say, to what others say, how they act, to your goals, and towards the things that you want in life, and yes, even in regards to your relationships. Nothing will ever be perfect, so you need to start coming to terms with that. It’s one thing to strive for the best of the best in life, and to want to have the best possible relationship ever. However, it’s another thing, when you’re never happy with what you have, and when you never take a moment to appreciate all of the good things in your life. But most of all, you’ll never be happy when your main focus is thinking about the imperfections in yourself, in your life, and in your relationship.

We should always try to enhance the positives. We should enhance the positives in ourselves, in our relationships, and in our lives. We need to start focusing on the good things in life, instead of on the things that we lack or don’t have yet. It’s time to rid ourselves of these expectations and these endless checklists of things that we feel are must-haves. We need to stop the worrying, stop the complaining, and start appreciating every little thing that we have in life. Stop looking for perfection. If you have a good relationship, work hard on it, and do anything in your power to make it work. And if you’re truly unhappy with one another, let go of the situation and move on to find someone that better suits you, and that will bring out more happiness. But don’t be that person that wants some fictional, “happily ever after” fairytale, where everything is absolutely perfect at all times. That doesn’t exist.

Anne Cohen
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