We all want different things when it comes to looking for a partner. Some things work for some people and other things work for others. Some men will tell you that the way to his heart is through his stomach and with a good meal. Some will tell you that it’s by being kind to his mother, his parents, or his family and friends. Everyone has a different thing that really drives them when it comes to what they really want their partner to be like. Having said that, there are a few things that I truly believe universally, every man wants in his woman.
Here Are a List of 5 Things That Every Man Wants in His Woman
1. He Wants Her to Be Emotionally Supportive
A man wants a woman who’s emotionally supportive and who isn’t just there at the finish line, but sticks around through the ups and downs, and doesn’t just desire the reward at the end of the day. A man wants a woman who will be his rock, his shoulder to lean on, and for her to nurture him, uplift him, and inspire him to be the best version of himself. Someone who will motivate him to push forward in life and towards his goals. A man wants a woman who is the type who will want what’s best for him, acting selflessly at times, putting his needs and wants above her own—and all out of love for him.
2. He Wants Her to Be Honest and Genuine
Relationships involve give-and-take, but they also involve someone who you know you can count on and who you can trust with everything and anything. You need to know that you can fully trust your partner, so that you can let down your guard and be with them wholeheartedly, and without having to bite your tongue when you speak all of the time or walk on eggshells, being afraid to tell them the truth about important matters.
As I’ve written before, trust and loyalty go hand in hand and it’s a two-way street when it comes to being open and honest. Both a man and a woman need to be trustworthy, honest, trusting of their partner, as well as open as far as communication goes. Men will also appreciate the type of woman who won’t jump to conclusions or make assumptions, and when in doubt, who will give him the benefit of the doubt, rather than thinking the worst of him. That is of course if he doesn’t have a track record of letting her down in the past.
Just like anyone else who might be naïve at times, and perhaps vulnerable to the love drug, a man might put his woman on such a high pedestal that he doesn’t see that he’s being manipulated or that his woman isn’t truly genuine or with him for the right reasons. And as unfortunate as it is for me to have to mention such a thing, being that it’s so untasteful and unkind that many women act in such a way, when a woman is the opposite and is truly authentic and genuine, he views her in the most beautiful light and truly appreciates her love and presence in his life.
When a woman is truly genuine and with a man for the right reasons, he will not only naturally feel it the longer that they’re together and the more that they know each other on a deeper level, but it will be the key to what drives and inspires him to be better in life. They say that a good woman at home or as a partner in life creates a successful man at work. There’s a lot of truth to that statement, because when a woman is honest and pure about her intentions with a man, and she truly acts decent, selfless, kind, nurturing, and as a beautiful backbone and pillar of strength to him when he needs it, a man will thrive, he will be successful, he will be healthier, and feel motivated and inspired. But more than anything, he will feel loved and happy.
3. He Wants Her to Respect Him, View Him as Powerful, and as the Very Best
A man wants to feel respected, but not only from the world around him, he wants to feel that his woman respects him and thinks of him in the highest manner. A man wants his woman to view him as strong, powerful, respectable, and worthy. He wants his woman to respect him when it comes to him sharing his feelings, his opinions, his boundaries, and all matters of the heart, as well as things that are important to him. A man who has a woman who views him in such a way where she truly respects and honours him, this man will be at mercy to her, he will thrive in joy, and it truly shows on her end a great deal of appreciation and love for him.
In the same manner that a man wants to feel respected by his woman, when he feels that his woman doesn’t respect him, it can take a huge toll on their relationship and he might even wind up feeling inadequate, and as a disappointment and failure to her, and possibly even in life.
4. He Wants Her to Be Loving, Warm, and Affectionate
Men can’t stand it when a woman is cold. And coldness comes in many forms from how she acts inside and outside of the bedroom. She may be cold to his friends and family which he won’t like, cold towards other people in general or in business, or cold when it comes to affection and intimacy. Most men will tell you hands down that they want a woman who is nurturing, warm-hearted, and even family oriented. All of these beautiful qualities usually align with the type of woman who is also warm and affectionate.
A man wants a woman with a beautiful soul, whose heart will be pure as gold, solid and stable. A man doesn’t want a wishy-washy woman intimately or in any other way. He wants a stable situation just as many woman desire. But when it comes to affection and intimacy, a man wants to know that his woman is attracted to him physically as well as in other areas. Most men crave the type of woman who will rush to the door to greet him, or stand up and wrap her arms around him when he arrives at home after work, or if she works outside of the home, then still, to wrap her arms around him just the same, kiss him all over his face, and smile with every grain of love she has for him, letting it beam through her eyes and into his heart.
5. He Wants Her to Be Happy with Herself and in Life
A good man will always want his woman to feel confident, secure, and good about herself in every way. And notice that I said, “a good man” and not merely a man. Not every man and not every woman will care, but a good man and a good woman will definitely care about their partner feeling good about themselves. A man wants a woman who will know how to talk, interact with others, socialize, and carry on a conversation. Confidence will play a big role in these areas, as well as many others such as how comfortable she is naked and in her own skin, as well as in different clothing. All in all, he will admire a woman who sports a confident smile while keeping her chin up, over a girl who hates the way she looks and criticizes herself all of the time.
Men love it when a woman has a good head on her shoulders and knows when to take things seriously. But also, a man will appreciate a woman who knows how to have a good time. A woman who will let her hair down, let go, be free, and live in the moment. Most men won’t like it when a woman is too stuck up or so concerned with her appearance or other factors that she won’t have a good time, smile, and laugh a little. Most men will cherish an easy going type of woman who is predominantly a happy and optimistic person.
And no one likes a complainer. When a woman complains a lot, it means she’s unsatisfied and unhappy. A man wants to know he’s pleasing his woman in every way and that she’s happy in general, but also, with him. Many men feel to blame when their woman is sad or upset about something and they try to fix the issues. But the problem with that is, men or anyone for that matter aren’t always to blame and aren’t supposed to be someone’s Mr. or Mrs. Fix-It. We’re not supposed to be saviours, we’re supposed to be partners, best friends, lovers, and pillars of strength fo one another when in need—but never someone’s emotional or physical punching bag, to be blamed for their misery. Besides, we usually create our own misery. We need to be whole and work through our issues, rather than blame others for why we’re upset or miserable. And especially when someone acts upset more often than not.
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Howdy. I dunno if you remember me, but I used to work here. My name is Gregory B. Gonzalez, and I alternated between writing funny stories and these long romantic diatribes about this girl I fell in love with.
Which leads me to the point of this article- THE GIRL.
Being that a lot of you read my ‘love-letters’ (though I’m loathe to refer to them in that context,) I figured I owed you an explanation as to why I wrote them and who I wrote them for. The latter is easy- the person I wrote them for is none other than the person who owns this blog, Anne Cohen. I guess most of you already knew that, though. And if you didn’t, well… surprise!
Just kidding.
Anyway, as to why I wrote them, that’s a little harder to explain. If I wanted to sum it up in a few words, the basic gist is that I’m in love with her. Anne, that is.
Totally. Completely. Absolutely. And I fucking hate it. (But more on that later.) Before you ask, no, I’m not delusional. I’m not saying there’s anything between us, and I’m not saying there ever will be. As a matter of fact, we’re not even speaking at the moment.
The reality of the situation isn’t lost on me, either- I know that the majority of Anne’s audience are guys lusting after her, but what separates me from you is that I’m not interested in what’s on the outside. I’m in love with what’s inside. Or, to use her vernacular, you guys want the frosting, I want the cake.
I love that despite everything she’s been through, she still retains some of that doe-eyed innocence we lose in childhood. I love hearing her yammer like an incoherent chimp on meth when she’s had enough coffee to give a narcoleptic insomnia. I love it when she drinks those Godawful health concotions from Whole Foods that taste like shag carpet. I love it when I read an article from her that’s basically the same article she’s written for the fifth or eighth time. I love being the first call she makes when she’s having a bad day, or the person she texts for a laugh when she’s had one too many. I love it when she bugs me to correct her spelling and her grammar, even though she can easily turn to Google for that. I’m barely scratching the surface of all her little quirks that I love.
I love that she loves my work. I love that she was my biggest fan. I love what she inspired me to write. I love what she brought out in me- to be a better man. More than I ever thought I could be. She can make me do anything.
I love her more than I can ever say. Literally. I could use every word in the English language to convey how she makes me feel, in every possible combination, and it would never be enough. I don’t think I could ever stop. Anne is my muse, my words, and my heart. I think she may even be… my soulmate.
So where did it all go wrong?
That’s a question I ask myself every day. The truth is, I don’t know. Although I adore Anne in every way possible, I never pushed for us to be anything more than friends, partly out of insecurity, but mostly out of fear. Fear that I could never be worthy of her.
I never kept my feelings a secret from Anne, and I guess that’s sort of where the problems began.
In all honesty, I don’t really want to rehash the past. Living through it once before was hard enough. But for your own reference, all you have to do is read my previous articles to bring you up to speed. Just so you know, my last article, “Hello, Nurse!” left me open to the possibilty of starting a new relationship with a nurse I met while I was in the hospital.
UPDATE: Nothing happened between us.
Anyway, I guess your next question is probably, “Okay, so what happened between you and Anne that you’re not talking anymore?” I wish I had an answer for you, because I’m just as clueless as you are. One morning in November, I checked all my social media only to find that Anne had deleted and blocked me from her entire existence. Why, I have no idea.
Okay, maybe that’s not totally accurate. It might have had something to do with a post I wrote on Facebook about why I stopped writing. In it, I basically said that I felt used and embarrassed by some things I wrote that were very personal (pretty much everything I wrote about Anne) and made me feel emotionally vulnerable in a way that was too uncomfortable for to live with. I vowed to stop writing that stuff and go back to being the person I was before I started writing for Anne Cohen Writes.
I wish I could say that I never meant for Anne to read that post, but I kinda sorta did. And if she did, I can probably guess what her reaction was. It was probably like a punch to the gut, followed by a kick to the face. More than that, she probably took it as confirmation that every negative thing she thought about me was true; that everything I did for her was done soley to get into her pants.
It wasn’t, though I know she’ll never believe that.
The truth is, in the months leading up to my hospitalization, I was frustrated in my collaborations with Anne and my involvement in ACW. I felt less like a partner and a friend and more like a doormat that she thought she could manipulate when she didn’t want to write. Granted, there were other things going on that added to my stress, but the whole thing with Anne was driving me nuts. It made me bitter and angry towards her. And like an idiot, I let that take root in my brain.
I really tried to talk to Anne about it, but she either didn’t want to listen or blew me off and gave me a bullshit lecture that didn’t have anything to do with what I was talking about. Most of the time, she boiled it down to the fact that she was already in a relationship and that she couldn’t ‘give me what I wanted’, which, in her mind, meant a relationship between us.
Which is not what I wanted. AT ALL.
Let me make something CRYSTAL clear: Even though I love Anne so much it scares the living shit out of me, I neither wanted to be with her or expected her to magically fall for me. Life is NOT the movies. Just because you feel a certain way about someone, there’s no guarantee they’ll feel it back. My love for her was always rooted in the inspiration she gave me. Anything else, if anything had come frome it, would’ve been a natural outgrowth of that. And if nothing happened, it was still okay, because our creative bond would have remained.
I never expected her to be with me. I just wanted her to be a part of my life. I could never seem to get her to understand that.
Anyway, getting back to my Facebook post, Anne probably read it, looked back at everything I wrote for her on ACW, and just relegated it and me to just another guy trying to bullshit his way into her pants. The thing is, though, I meant every SINGLE word I wrote. No, scratch that- I meant every fucking word and emotion she brought out in me. Say what you want about it- I know a lot of it is kinda saccharin, but all of it is from the heart. My heart. A heart that I thought was broken forever. A heart that Anne put back together. She just had this magical way of turning every bad thing I felt into a ray of sunshine. She was the light to my darkness.
I tried, I really tried my best to put her and my feelings aside. For awhile, I did. But as much as I wish I could go back to being the cocky, emotionally bulletproof asshole I was before we met, I’m not. The part of me that Anni brought out, the part of me that she loves- he’s still here. He’s still a part of me. I can’t cast him out, nor do I find myself wanting to.
I don’t regret telling Anni how I feel, nor do I regret what I wrote. I’m actually proud as Hell of it. I haven’t written like that in years. I had no idea how much I missed it. Anni brought more out of me than she will ever know. She made the man I always knew I could be.
I know I must sound like a crazy person, calling a girl I’ve only known a short time my soulmate, but being that I have some experience with this kinda thing, I don’t have many doubts. Fate took a hand in bringing Anni and I together. I know this. She may not admit it, but I know there’s a part of her that knows as well. Listen, I have no idea why the universe works the way it does, or why certain people are put in your life’s path- I only know that when they arrive, you have to do everything you can possibly do to let them know how much they mean to you. Which is why I’m writing this. I have to let her know.
Which is what I tried to do. What I want to do. She’s the best thing that ever happened
to me. Hands down.
I miss you, Anni. I know I screwed up, and I want to make things right. You mean too much to me to leave things like this. Please don’t give up on me.
You never had to be anything more to me than you are. Just you being here was always enough.
So yeah…I screwed up. I can admit that. I pissed away the one thing I’d been looking for for twenty years. I’m sorry. My words are feel empty without you.
I’m not perfect, and I make mistakes. But I need to change and I’m doing my best. You were right- I didn’t know what I had and I took you for granted. I’m sorry. Life ain’t worth living if you’re not in it.
No, I really miss you. I was a complete DICK to you. I’m sorry Anni.
You realize you just repeated some of my lines, right? I miss you, too.
This article is brilliant,
Thank you