The Power of Affection


I’m an old school kind of girl. Old fashioned at my core. Maybe it’s because of all of the Rodgers and Hammerstein movies my mother cultured me with (watching them on repeat)
 or it might be because of all of the time I’ve spent with my grandparents. Whatever the reason, this is how I am. There are many people that feel the same way. However, there are those few people that I’ve met that haven’t been fond of some of my old fashioned ways. Whether it was because of my views about modern women, the ways I go about dating, or even the way that I can be on an intimate level.

For whatever reason, not everyone is a big fan of the old fashioned mentality. In case you haven’t figured it out yet, I’m more so referring to the era of the 50’s and 60’s. Hmm, I think that the 60’s were more so the Woodstock years, so perhaps I’m actually referring to the late 1950’s. My ways of thinking towards intimacy and affection are likely not to be agreed on by everyone, which I’m well aware. But these are my thoughts.

I’ve written many articles on this subject matter, but this one is more so about the importance of intimacy and affection. Many people believe that affection should be something that’s expressed solely behind closed doors. I disagree. I feel that affection should be expressed whenever it’s felt. Of course, there are always times that are inappropriate, when two people feel that urge to get close or touchy-feely, and they should instinctively know to hold off. No one wants to see people making out at a funeral, a family function, or even in certain public places.

Whether or not a couple is a big fan of displaying public affection depends on how they personally feel about it. I think that it’s okay in moderation. I like public affection actually, to some extent. But, I do it for me, my man, and it’s always out of a genuine place. I know, I know, that’s not exactly the 1950’s mentality. But, I haven’t gotten to my point! I never display public affection with a motive of being obnoxious, to show off, or to make others jealous. That would be beyond tacky and absurd. I’m well aware that many people don’t like public affection. However, couples need to express their love and affection to their partners, whether in public or private.

Expressing one’s love to their partner can be shown in many ways. Through words, actions, and effort. The one that I want to discuss here is “actions.” Not exactly the actions of buying gifts and what not, but more so affection. Affection is not the same thing as intimacy. However, there’s a great importance of both. Affection is essential in a couple feeling loved by one another. Being nurturing can be an amazing quality that most would appreciate. But, if affection isn’t present, that nurturing person (or partner for that matter) will wind up seeming as more of a parental figure. Yikes! Make sure that nurture and affection go hand in hand when expressing your love to your partner.

Whether or not someone is affectionate can make or break a relationship. Most people would prefer someone that’s not only sexual and intimate with them, but also someone that’s crazy affectionate. At least from what I’ve seen and heard. Not everyone is going to be as passionate and expressive as the next. But, it’s important that if someone isn’t very passionate, expressive, or sexual even, that they extend themselves a bit, and genuinely so. Again, this can make or break relationships.

Believe it or not, many times couples break up because of empty intimacy, lack of intimacy, as well as lack of warmth and affection. Showing affection to your partner is imperative in them knowing how you truly feel. Love can’t just be shown by your words and other actions. It’s crazy important that couples embrace certain affections like kissing, holding hands, cuddling, giving each other massages, and even giving each other the warm embrace of a hug. These things can all be done without intimacy. Sure, some or all them could lead to intimacy, but they don’t always have to. Remember, affection and intimacy should both be genuine and based on love.

Anne Cohen
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