The Hook Up: When Forever Lasts a Week


I’m a big believer in being honest and true to your intentions when it comes to dating. Everyone is different. Some people are more sensitive than others. Some people can be somewhat naïve. As well, some people wear their hearts on their sleeves. Then there’s the types that are sensitive, naïve, and wear their hearts on their sleeves. Many times, the more fragile someone is in these areas, the more loving and pure they are at heart. Some would say that people that are naïve simply shouldn’t be, and blatantly tell them not to be, without really understanding their personality type. You can’t just tell someone not to be who they are. As well, you can’t try to change them, make them stronger, and prevent them from getting hurt by others. The most you could tell someone that falls into this category would be to go into situations with caution, and be weary of people’s intentions.

It’s important to find out what a person’s intentions are somewhat early on in the game. Asking someone their intentions shouldn’t scare them away, and when it does, their intentions usually aren’t pure to begin with. When someone has honest and pure intentions, and is looking for something long-term and meaningful, they won’t be afraid of someone wanting to know their ultimate intentions and goals. Finding out what someone’s intentions are doesn’t mean you necessarily want to be with that person and spend your life with them. On the contrary. The dating and relationship periods are both very important in experiencing before taking things to next level, and becoming more serious. It’s important to spend a certain amount of time with someone and get to know who they really are as a person, and on many levels. This takes time, effort, communication, and doesn’t usually happen overnight.

People should never be afraid of talking about what their intentions are with the person that they’re dating, even when it’s early on. Remember, just because you’re having a conversation about something in regards to what you want in your future, doesn’t mean you want it with that person. It’s important for people to discuss what their ultimate intentions are and what they want in their future to see if things are aligned. There’s no use in developing feelings for someone and letting your heart fully open up when someone ultimately wants different things than you. That would simply be a waste of time for you and the other person. As well as a waste of possible emotions and feelings that could develop. This is why it’s an important conversation to have during the early dating period.

It’s important to go into situations with an open heart, and not to bring in past issues or wounds from previous relationships. Every situation deserves a blank, clean slate. At times, people that don’t have the best of intentions with pure motives will go after someone that seems more of the naïve and loving type. Perhaps people that have an open heart and wear their hearts on their sleeves appear to the person with impure intentions as an easy target to hook up with. When people are just looking for a hook up, they should go after other people who are looking for the same type of meaningless affection. There’s no depth or genuine feelings that could possibly develop from someone that’s merely looking for a hook up.

It’s easy to tell someone not to be so naïve. But the truth is, you can’t change a person’s core feelings or how open they are to love. You shouldn’t even want to change a person who’s loving and trusting. If anything, it’s important to spread more awareness to the people who have ulterior motives so that they stop taking advantage of others. When someone is misleading you into believing that they truly care about you and say that they look at you as marriage material, it’s beyond conniving, deceiving, and just plain wrong. Some people play mind games and play with your emotions on so many levels, leading you to believe that their intentions are pure and that they want a meaningful relationship. Unfortunately, the naïve and loving heart is open to believing the person with ulterior motives, and they give them the benefit of the doubt. People that have a genuinely trusting heart tend to always give the benefit of the doubt to others which is great, but not when the other person doesn’t have pure intentions.

To those with the purest of hearts, I want to shed one last ounce of light onto your beautiful souls.

Not everyone will think like you. Not everyone will love and be open to love as you are. Not all people think and act with the purest of intentions as you do. This is why it’s imperative to never change the way you are. The most I would suggest is for you to protect yourself from those that have impure intentions by going into situations with caution, and by not believing every person, and what they tell you. The last thing that you deserve is to be left hurt with wounds from less enlightened souls. Stay honest, trusting, and open to love. But don’t sweep red flags and questionable statements or actions under the rug. Acknowledge things and people for who they are, and how they act. Remember that you’re different, and better even, for being kind, decent, and true to your word. Don’t ever question your ways when it comes to how warm, trusting, and open you are to loving someone. It’s not your fault that others are sometimes different.

Anne Cohen
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