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We should care about what type of person we are, who we are deep in our core, and how we live our lives. We should feel proud of the life that we live, and the type of person who we’ve become since childhood. When it comes to feeling respected, this is something that we all want and desire in life. But we can’t expect to get the respect of others. This is something that truly is earned and not demanded.
When it comes to dating someone and exploring a new situation, many times people pressure the other person to do things before they’re ready, like being intimate for example. Intimacy is something that should be based on a solid, strong foundation, starting with love, as well as trust. You need to trust the person who you’re intimate with. And I don’t usually write about intimacy very much. But intimacy is obviously something that’s essential in having a truly healthy and loving relationship. But again, intimacy is something that shouldn’t be empty, and should be based on true and genuine feelings.
When intimacy between two people is based on love, it can be exciting, and it should be exciting. And it should be with someone who you trust, feel truly compatible with, and when you want to share your love with on a deeper level. But unfortunately, sometimes, one person pressures the other early on when dating to be intimate before they’re ready. There are many different ways of pressuring someone.
For example, during early dating, you should be asking each other questions and getting to know each other—even before getting to know them on a deeper level. You should ask things like what they’re preferences are, what they like to do for fun, what they’re looking for, if they’re even looking for a committed relationship, what their goals are, and what they want out of life. These are just a few of the things that you should ask during early dating.
But you should also ask them where they see themselves in a few years, and make sure that you’re going at the same pace, and that you’re on the same page as far as what you want from each other. But when one person wants things that are different early on, you should recognize that as a red flag to end the situation. You see, there’s no sense in pursuing a situation when you both want different things, when you’re not on the same page, or when you’re going at an entirely different pace. You need to be aligned with one another. You need to be on the same page.
When one person has pure intentions and wants to be in a loving, healthy, and happy relationship, and they’re dating you with these pure intentions of wanting this beautiful thing, you shouldn’t take that for granted when you know that you want different things. You need to be honest and direct with whoever you date, and make your intentions clear, so that they can decide for themselves if they want to stay and date you or move on and date someone else who wants what they want.
Last but not least, you should never make another person feel guilty for not being intimate with you and for not giving you what you want. Especially, when you know that they want something more meaningful. That is, when you know that your intentions are just to hook up, have a fling, and have some fun perhaps. When you make another person feel guilty, believe it or not, this is another form of pressuring someone. Guilt is not part of dating someone. It should not be a part of dating someone when your intentions are pure, and when you’re truly a good person.
Like I said before, you should feel proud of the person who you are. And if you’re not, then you should make a change for the better. We need to be the best versions of ourselves. The best version rather, because how we are in life will play a big role in every possible way. It will show others the example you set. When or if you have kids, they will see who you are, what you’ve done, and how you live your life. And your friends, your family, and anyone else that you meet in this world, they’ll see who you are. Despite the fact that you might not care what others think of you, you should care how you portray yourself, and how you look to others. You should be proud of who you are. I can’t stress that enough.
If you’re dating someone and your intentions are pure and you know what you want, be cautious of others when they stick around when you want different things. And just know that the right person will never pressure you to do things before you’re ready. If someone is pressuring you to do things before you’re ready or tries to make you feel guilty—for example, if they drop you off at your home after a date, because you don’t want to go home with them and they make you feel bad for it, just know that their intentions aren’t pure.
They’re trying to make you feel guilty, so just don’t! Don’t feel guilty. Don’t feel bad for being you, for knowing what you want, and for not giving them what they want. Never feel bad or guilty for not giving someone empty intimacy, just because that’s what they wanted, and even if they treat you badly because they had to drop you off. Shame on them for acting like that! And just know that the right person will never do that to you. Feel confident and feel proud of who you are. And just know that your best possible match (aka soulmate) will be willing to go at your pace, will be on the same page with you, and will be going at the same time frame that feels comfortable for you. Things should naturally flow to a certain degree early on, and you shouldn’t have to force things to work when they’re not right.
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More from Anne Cohen Writes
Dating Advice – Why It’s Important to Follow Through With Your Intentions
Empty Intimacy, Fake Love, Rebounds, and Transitional Relationships
Stop Feeling Guilty, and Eat What Your Body Craves
The Hook Up: When Forever Lasts a Week
Feeling Pressured on Valentine’s Day
3 Reasons Why Intent Doesn’t Equal Impact
