When it comes to feeling happy, you should always concentrate on the things that you have, as opposed to the things that you lack. When you’re in the dating scene and you’re hoping to meet someone new, or even when you’re exploring a new relationship, it’s important to concentrate on all of the positives that the other person has, as well as all of the positives in the relationship. But being that you’re only dating or in a relationship with them and not married, or at least not married to them yet, it’s important to acknowledge the red flags.
During the dating period, you should be asking a lot of questions early on to find out if you’re the best possible match for one another. You can find out a lot about a person early on while dating if you ask the right types of questions. Sure, keeping things light and easy is great, but avoiding getting to know someone on a deep level isn’t going to get you very far when it comes to finding out whether someone is your best possible match. The same goes for those that avoid drama, confrontation, and prefer to keep the peace so to speak, as opposed to bringing up important, but perhaps intense conversations that many times need to be had. It’s important to ask enough questions, and again, the right types of questions, because you can find out much sooner whether or not you’re the right match for one another, and in doing so, you won’t waste their time or your own.
Once you feel that there’s chemistry between you and the person you’re dating, and you know that you ultimately want the same things, you should explore an exclusive relationship with them. Exploring an exclusive relationship helps to give a situation a genuine chance, as opposed to keeping your options open, and viewing things as the grass is always greener. You should always give promising situations a chance. However, just because you’re in an exclusive relationship doesn’t mean that you should sweep red flags under the carpet, and try to keep the peace in order to prevent arguments. Some arguments need to be had, and communication is everything.
You definitely need to concentrate on developing healthy communication while you’re in an exclusive relationship or even during the dating period. You see, if you don’t know how to communicate with your partner very well, you might end up marrying the person, but your communication with one another won’t be much to speak of. Once you’re married to someone, and not just in an exclusive relationship, but actually married to them, you need to concentrate on all of the things that you have in life with them, and not what you lack. Concentrating on what you lack in life brings much misery and unhappiness.
Sometimes married couples need to remain focused on the goal that they share with their partner, and that’s to create peace, love, and happiness together. At times, you need to give more, accept more, and even do sweet gestures just because. There are many things that couples can do to spice up a relationship. But concentrating on the things that their partner does that annoys them, or on the things that they lack or don’t have yet isn’t going to create a happy home, environment, or a sense of peace and happiness.
If you’re already married, and then you find out certain red flags or things that perhaps were disguised early on, you basically have to deal with what is, and accept things for how they are, because you’ve already made a commitment to the person. Therefore, once you’re married, you should try not to concentrate on those red flags, and concentrate more so on all of the positive things that you share as a couple, as well as all of the positive and beautiful qualities that your partner has. Embrace all of the good that you have as a couple, because once you’re married, concentrating on all of the positives is what will bring about the most happiness in your relationship. Remember, if you’re hoping to have a blissful and happy life, where your honeymoon phase can last a lifetime, then it’s important to concentrate on all of the good things that you have.
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3 thoughts on “One of the Biggest Problems Married Couples Make”
Good read Anne, sometimes when couples get married after some years they can start focusing on the red flags that were ignored earlier in the relationship. Suddenly there is talk about “being incompatible”. I like how you remind us to ” give more, accept more, and even do sweet gestures just because.” Yes, marriages need tending to. Like flowers they need regular TLC else they wilt and can even die.
Healthy communication can never be over emphasis in any relationship and maintaining the goal that brought you both together will definitely keep the relationship fresh, happy and sweet. Thanks for sharing.
Honestly, I know a lot of married couples and they all say it takes a lot of work and a lot of willingness to compromise. You’re so right about what you say; focus on the positives 😉