Every couple wants to get along, and has hopes that their relationship will work out. It’s always better to find out earlier rather than later whether or not you and the person that you’re dating are truly compatible. The last thing that anyone wants is to get into a relationship and then find out as time goes on and you’re getting more and more attached to the person, that there are red flags bursting out from every angle.
One of the biggest red flags that you’ll see when you’re dating someone is that they won’t want to have a label on your relationship, or “whatever the person is O.K. with calling it.” When someone is usually afraid to have a label on what you have with them, and especially when you’ve been dating them for quite some time, it’s usually because they have some level of fear. They might be commitment phobic, emotionally unavailable, or maybe they “just got out of a relationship” and aren’t over their ex.
You never really know a person until you know them on a deeper level. The only way to truly get to know someone is by exploring an exclusive relationship, or at least by spending a lot of quality time with the person, which includes having great communication. Now, when a person is willing to spend a lot of quality time with you, and seems like an open book, where they share every little detail about their day, yet they’re still are either afraid of or avoiding having “the talk” as to whether or not you’re in a relationship with one another, you need to get to the bottom of it, and soon.
I don’t know how to put this to you, other than to tell you that it’s a very large sized red flag when someone is afraid to put a label on your relationship. Being exclusive is a step that should happen when two people date each other for a certain duration, and my recommendation has always been about three dates. If you follow the three date rule, then you ask the right types of questions, and truly have a good idea about who the person is. You’ll have an idea of what their likes are, what they don’t like, and what works for them in a relationship.
As well, during those first few dates, you should ask one another what your ultimate goals are and make sure that your plans and visions are aligned, and to the point where you both feel that you ultimately want the same things. If you go about dating and follow the three date rule, you’ll be much more likely to see what type of person you’re dating, and even then, and at that very moment, you should have a conversation about how you both feel in regards to being in an exclusive relationship, and what a good time frame is so that you can both be on the same page and go at the same pace.
Latest posts by Anne Cohen (see all)
- The Pages of Our Book - May 15, 2019
- Saturday Thoughts and Relationship Advice From Someone Who Loves Maybe a Little Too Much - May 4, 2019
- The Power of Date Night - April 26, 2019