The 3 Date Rule

Posted on by Anne Cohen
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It takes about 3 dates to know if a person has enough potential to be your next love. If you go about the first three dates using these guidelines, you’ll know if the person is a good match for you, and if you can go forward with them and start a new relationship. It doesn’t take as long as people generally think. It can take months before you know you want to be in a relationship, if you go about it the wrong way. When you follow these steps, you’ll get to know a person in a very short amount of time.


The whole point is that you want to find the best possible match for you, in the shortest amount of time possible. Of course, things will take time to develop and true love takes time. But to start a promising new relationship, it takes three dates and no more, when done right. If it takes any more than 3 dates, one person is bound to get attached more than the other, and will end up getting hurt. Either way, there’s a possibility of someone getting hurt. That’s why the 3 date rule is necessary, because no one will get too attached or hurt if there’s a limit of 3 getting to know you dates.


Date 1:


On this date, you should know if you have chemistry. You should know whether or not you’re attracted to the person. You should ask the person questions that are important for you to have in a partner. You should ask enough questions to know whether you want the same things in your future or not. Find out if they’re happy doing what they chose to do for work. Ask all sorts of questions and listen to their responses. Think about what’s important to you to have in a partner and ask those questions. It’s all about the questions you ask. If you see any red flags, there’s no need for a second date.


Date 2:


On this date, you should still feel the attraction and the chemistry, but it should be even stronger than the first date. You should find out what types of things each other enjoys, what hobbies they have, and what makes them feel happiest. Find out if you have any similarities and common interests. You should know by now if you’re able to laugh with them. The romance should definitely be there by this date.


Whether it’s flirting with each other, sharing smiles, or seeing if you have the ability to make the other person blush. At this point, you can usually tell if someone likes you by the way they look at you. Find out if you have an intellectual connection, a softer emotional connection, and a spiritual connection. You should be able to tell if the other person’s heart is open or if they have any wounds from previous relationships. If you see that they have recent wounds and they need time to heal, they do, and don’t ignore it. If that’s the case, this should be your last date with them, for right now.


Date 3:


On the third date, you should be able to develop a little bit more comfort with the person, as you’ve already had two dates with them. By this date, you should know whether you like the person or not, and want to exclusively date them. You should have that honeymoon type of feeling, where you feel like you can’t get enough of this person, and you want to spend more and more time with them. If you don’t feel that way, they might not be the right match for you. By now, that exciting feeling of a new possible love should be in the air. On this date, you should ask more questions, see if the feeling has grown, and find out if the feeling is mutual.


On the first date, you should know if the person is normal and you ever want to see them again. As well, you’ll know if there’s chemistry and if you’re attracted to them. You should also know that they’re attracted to you. On the second date, you should see if you can laugh together, have fun together, as well as get to know each other a little bit more. See if you want the same things in your future and if it matches up. See if you have a connection on as many levels as possible. By the third date, you should know enough about this person to decide whether you want to keep dating them or not. If you do, you should be exclusive after this point. I believe it takes three dates to actually know if you want to go forward with someone.


If you don’t know if you want to go forward with someone by the third date, you didn’t go about it the right way. You should ask all of the long-term questions early on, so you don’t waste anyone’s time. You should know early on if you both want the same things in your future. People say to live in the now, but while you’re living in the now, you have to know if you’re wasting someone’s time or not, right now. It’s better to find out sooner, than later whether a person wants the same things as you in their future. If you both want different things in your future, there’s no need to date the person again.


If you realize after the first date that you both want different things in your future and you still pursue to date them, you’re wasting their time and your intentions aren’t pure. If you’re dating more than one person at a time until you figure out who you like the best, that’s fine. It shouldn’t take you more than three dates to figure out which person you like the best. Once you figure it out, then pursue that one person and end it with the others. At that point, you should turn off all dating sites (if you have any) and give this one special person your full attention as far as dating. If you’re both on the same page and you feel comfortable enough, you should ask them to be yours exclusively and if they want to start a relationship to see where it could go. 


The Kiss:


Now this is a tricky one. The kiss can make or break this three date rule. A kiss is very important. If you don’t like the way someone kisses, it’s a no go. I’ve heard people say that sometimes a kiss takes time and it will get better. Um, I don’t agree with that at all. Whether it’s the first date, the third date, or whenever you choose, if the kiss is bad, it’s not a good sign. It’s more than the compatibility of the kiss itself, it’s a level of passion from the other person and whether you’re both compatible in that sense. I believe you can tell a lot from a kiss. That first kiss shouldn’t be rushed into as some people do, in order to just get it over with. Some people like to know that they’ve kissed a person and they try to kiss them on a first date. There’s no need to rush into a first kiss.


The first kiss should be natural and unplanned. Just because you walk a girl to her door, doesn’t mean she’s supposed to kiss you. That desire to kiss each other should be there on both ends and should be so natural. It should feel as if two magnets are being drawn together so strong by this intense, pulling energy, and it’s bringing you closer in. The first kiss can be a beautiful thing, when it’s done right. There’s no need to get sloppy on a first kiss. A first kiss should be delicate and gentle. It should linger on your lips and in your mind, when you say goodnight and go your separate ways. I hope you can all benefit in some way from this article and find your true love soon.

Anne Cohen
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